Searching for Meaning - Chasity Hamilton

I wilt away
into the grey,
the colors that fade-
like my heart beat.

The beating breaks.
The silence sounds.

Crack open these ribs.
find the beat in me
Crack open my insides.
Release the maggots that make me.

Split open my head.
Take out the thoughts of haunting.
Split open my heart.
Remove the parts that hurt me.

Slice through my slumber.
Remove the demons it takes to remember.
Cut out my emotions,
who really needs them?

I don't want to remember
You're searing touch.
I'm tired of searching
for a reason to inhale.

So I hold my thoughts
on battered breath.
I fall from flight
on tattered wings.

Yes I am tired of searching
for reason to inhale.
So I hold my thoughts
on battered breath.
And wait for the explode
of my lungs collapsing.

I grit my teeth.
Sew my lips shut.
You won't hear me scream.

I'm tired of searching,
Waiting, hurting,
Looking for a reason to inhale.