Growing Up - Pam Davila

I stand staring at the path ahead. Fear creeps into my heart, I question if it’s possible. Can I do it? What if I fail? I may seem confident in front of everyone else but inside, secretly, there’s a voice that worries. Worries that I can’t adjust, that I’ll fail out and all that money would be wasted. And if I do manage to get through, what if there’s nothing on the other side? I’m stuck with a piece of paper stating I’m qualified but there’s nothing for me to do. Those aren’t the only hurtles, but there’s a lifetime of them. Will I jump over everyone or will I crash, with my knee scrapped and my blood flowing out onto the asphalt? Failure is not an option, but it’s not totally unavoidable. I have generations of hard work and suffering riding on my shoulders, I carry the responsibility so that it doesn’t go to waste. But what if it does by chance? Go to waste, I mean. Will the history of my family be for nothing? Does one descendent determine the success of all before? But maybe all the senseless worrying is a waste of time, because if I’m constantly worrying then when will I have time to be successful? I should go by that old saying; just roll with the punches. Because honestly, I’m not psychic (although apparently I do have a psychic Great Aunt ) but I do have the skills with hard word to be successful at what I choose to do. So I just have to shrug my shoulders and say: “It’s all part of growing up.”