Things I Want to Say, But I Don't - Julia Burns

“I only asked you how you are so you would ask me.”

“The dress doesn’t make you look fat; your fat makes you look fat.”

“If I wasn’t invited to your awesome party, I probably don’t want to hear about it.”

“Sometimes you’re really funny, but sometimes I laugh because I know that’s what you want me to do.”

“Your house, car, purse, dog, etc, do not make you cool - especially not when your parents paid for them.”

“I love you, and I probably should say it more often, but it’s sort of embarrassing.”

“Did I ask you where you want to sit? All the window tables are busy; please just sit where I put you.”

“Don’t tell me how to do my job.”

“I’m acting like I’m not listening, but I usually am - and, one day, I hope to use it against you.”

“Stop being a wuss and do something about what you’re complaining about - or just stop complaining all together, that would be cool too.”

“Sometimes I think about how we could be friends, but then I remember how conniving you are, and I re-assess that thought.”

“When I make fun of my family it’s fine - when you do it, it pisses me off.”

“When you come in where I work- which is, you know, a restaurant- and say ‘I sure hope you have food here’ it’s not funny. I’ll laugh, but really I just want to get on with my job.”

“Being ignored is annoying, but I do it a lot.”

“I don’t like that person you’re friends with. I don’t care how nice they are to you, they’re a bitch to me, and that matters more.”

“You’re super amazing, and it makes me way jealous, but it doesn’t make you any less super amazing.”

“I’m really paranoid that you don’t like me. It doesn’t matter if we’ve been friends for a long time or not; I’m still paranoid.”

“Yeah, I talked about you behind your back, and you’ve talked about me. It’s human nature, let’s get over it.”