Apr 12, 2010

Kamal Ocean - Paroe Dhingra

There are many things in my room that mean a lot to me: including the pillow I have had since birth, many letters written to me and many stuffed animals with a meaning. One of the more recent memories is a stuffed bear. This bear is really nothing special by looks: a bow around the neck and a brown fuzzy exterior. Indeed nothing new, but this stuffed animal holds a lot of memories for me.


During the summer I went to the beach. A yearly routine where I lived with my friends but this year they were bringing someone new, excitement consumed me. I didn’t expect what I was to receive. I expected a new friend and nothing else. They came in with my friends and I watched silently as I arrived back from the shoreline minutes away. In that instant, I knew it was going to be one wonderful week.

Coming to the beach I always held my heart close, not letting anyone in. My heart had once been on my sleeve; that caused too many tragedies. That night, I slipped downstairs with one of my close friends and we went outside to observe the stars. A tradition we had made since the first year at the beach. We spoke and ate ice cream as the rest of the house slept. After many shared smiles, we went inside. On our way upstairs we saw a light on, it was the older boys. We debated if we were going to knock and after much debate, I decided to go upstairs. My friend, on the other hand, tapped the door and abruptly the door opened. She told me to come inside, with a sigh I came in. We then decided to go on a walk on the beach. The beach was completely silent and inviting. In the course of three hours, our silence became talk, our talk became laughter. Then we walked back home. We all went to sleep: first day complete.

Day by Day, laughs became fuller and the talks grew longer. After many days I fell in love with these boys: Manny, Raj and Josh. Manny and Raj kept me laughing, and then there was Josh. He specifically had a sweet spot for me. I felt it too, and I realized I was falling for him. I was scared I would get hurt once again. I didn’t want to become numb again. Trusting my instinct, I went to the porch, to meet him. When we came back in, we had taken a step to another step in friendship.

After the beach I saw him once, He brought me two gifts: a sterling silver charm bracelet and a little teddy bear. The bracelet is everywhere I go on my hand: keeping me safe from the unseen. Then there is the sweet bear that holds many memories and holds my trust in him. I knew he needed a name. He was perfect in every way and reminded me of the person in my heart, Josh. Two words came to my mind: Kamal Ocean.

Kamal means perfection in Arabic. I have always felt perfect is a mockery of itself constantly telling us something we can’t be, but that day I realized there was no other name for him. He was perfect and indeed he made the ocean so sweet. Never will I forget the trip and how I got something more important than me.

No comments:

Post a Comment