To walk through life being neither seen nor heard but still feeling the pain and wonder of a world around you is a life I never planned for.
Yet, this is how I have been living life as of late, walking amongst the living; observing the lives of the ones I once held so dearly.
No one can see or feel me. But I see all. I see everyone’s truth without the lies they pile on the surface.
Dearly beloved, they are gathered before me. I watch my mother break down as she has never let me see.
How am I supposed to bear this pain? I cannot watch her do this anymore. It feels like an invasion. Something I should be guilty for seeing.
I have come to the realization that I should not watch over the one’s I loved. I am no guardian angel. That is not my job.
I am just a lost soul, traveling where I don’t belong.
This is true punishment.
I cannot protect them now as I was once able.
I no longer belong.
Why do I exist if all I can do is watch?
Watch the dearly beloved fall into the dark pit of reality.
Watch them suffer.
Watch the pain.
I can watch their happiness; I cannot celebrate with them.
I am useless. I am invisible.
I am the ghost.
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